The Buffalo Theory

Amen!

This is my all-time favorite Cliff-ism. In one episode of Cheers, Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this.

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Perhaps a very close second favorite Cliff-ism was spoken on the Jeopardy episode of Cheers. Cliff Clavin, being the know-it-all of useless trivia, is on Jeopardy. Presented with the Final Jeopardy question "Who is Archibald Leach, Bernard Schwartz and Lucille LeSueur?" Cliff bets all his money, $22,000, on his response.

Alex Trebek: Let's go to Cliff and get his Final Jeopardy answer. "Who are people who have never been in my kitchen?" I'm sorry, that is wrong.

Cliff: Wait a minute, Alex. I can offer conclusive proof that those three people have never been in my kitchen.

OK, maybe you just had to be there.

Here's an extensive list of some other extremely funny lines from various Cheers episodes.

Gosh, I miss that show...

Cheers!